April 20, 692

Catullus is a very silly man with boyish feelings. He thought I actually loved him? HA! I only love conquest and lust. What is love anyways? I don't think it even exists. Catullus doesn't even love me, he loves the idea of having a secret lover. I am but a muse to him, one he obsesses over. Even when I break up with him, he continues to write poetry about me. This one is about "how much he doesn't need me" as though it were actually true. He'll come crawling back to me... they always do.

MISER Catulle, desinas ineptire,
et quod uides perisse perditum ducas.
fulsere quondam candidi tibi soles,
cum uentitabas quo puella ducebat
amata nobis quantum amabitur nulla.

Miserable Catullus, you must stop your folly,
and count as lost as what you see is lost
once the suns shone bright on you
when you once used to go so often where your sweetheart led
she who was loved by me as none will ever be loved

nunc iam illa non uult: tu quoque impotens noli,
nec quae fugit sectare, nec miser uiue,
sed obstinata mente perfer, obdura.
uale puella, iam Catullus obdurat,
nec te requiret nec rogabit inuitam.
at tu dolebis, cum rogaberis nulla.
scelesta, uae te, quae tibi manet uita?
quis nunc te adibit? cui uideberis bella?
quem nunc amabis? cuius esse diceris?
quem basiabis? cui labella mordebis?
at tu, Catulle, destinatus obdura.

now she desires you no more: neither should you, madman
do not chase her who flees, nor live in misery
but with a resolved mind, endure, be firm
Goodbye my mistress, now Catullus stands firm
He will not seek your or court you against your will
but you will be sorry when you are not looked for at all
Wicked, woe to you, What life is left for you?
Who will visit you now? Who will think you're pretty?
Whom will love you now? Whose will you be called?
Whom will you kiss? Whose lips will you bite?
but you Catullus remain determined.

....He's not over me, he'll come back..right?