June 15, 692

He does still have feelings for me. He wrote another poem about my promiscuity. I'm relieved that I'm not that easy for him to get over, but he makes me feel embarrassed for ever talking to Ignatius. I'll admit that he may not be the cleanest or brightest guy in the world, but I was drunk when I met him. I feel like I'm always drunk when I meet men. I knew that he was from a more "rural" part of town, but I didn't realize that he actually cleaned his teeth with his urine. I thought he just ate onions or something....

SALAX taberna uosque contubernales,
a pilleatis nona fratribus pila,
solis putatis esse mentulas uobis,
solis licere, quidquid est puellarum,
confutuere et putare ceteros hircos?
an, continenter quod sedetis insulsi
centum an ducenti, non putatis ausurum
me una ducentos irrumare sessores?
atqui putate: namque totius uobis
frontem tabernae sopionibus scribam.
puella nam mi, quae meo sinu fugit,
amata tantum quantum amabitur nulla,
pro qua mihi sunt magna bella pugnata,
consedit istic. hanc boni beatique
omnes amatis, et quidem, quod indignum est,
omnes pusilli et semitarii moechi;
tu praeter omnes une de capillatis,
cuniculosae Celtiberiae fili,
Egnati. opaca quem bonum facit barba
et dens Hibera defricatus urina.

You and your companions of the lustful tavern,
the capped brothers of the ninth pillar,
Do you think that you alone have penises?
Do you think thatyou alone can have sex with whichever girl and call the others he-goats?
Or, because you fools sit in an unbroken line of 100 (or 200 perhaps?)
do you not think that I will dare to rape orally one or two hundred loungers?
Moreover you should think: for I will draw dicks on the front of the whole tavern for you
For my girl, whom has fled my embrace
whom I have loved as no other has loved
for whom great wars were fought by me,
has climbed to those I just mentioned.
all of you fine and well to do men love her, and indeed, which is undeserved, all of the small time louts and alleyway sex maniacs,
you are beyond the longhaired rabbit son of Celtiberae
Egnati, whose dark beard is good and makes teeth scoured in Spanish urine.

As much as the urine thing grosses me out, It makes me feel really special that Catullus is defensive of me.